


If You Don't Succeed

by amoleofmonsters



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:28:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7854400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoleofmonsters/pseuds/amoleofmonsters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Lance knew he was going to have to make a move on Keith soon or else it was very likely that he was going to chafe his dick off."</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Don't Succeed

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'm funnier than I really am.

Lance was getting frustrated, and it totally wasn’t his fault. Keith was an absolute douche-canoe about eighty percent of the time, but goddamn if he wasn’t fine as hell. Lance had tried to pretend for so long that he didn’t in fact want to get all up on that, but it was starting to get hard. Using random alien babes could only be effective when they actually ran into random alien babes. That didn’t happen too often. On top of that, Allura was still fighting his advances. He was running out of ways to deal with his sexual frustration. Lance knew he was going to have to make a move on Keith soon or else it was very likely that he was going to chafe his dick off.

Lance decided that the easiest way to get with Keith was to catch him after training. After his workout, he’d come out all sweaty and disheveled and Lance would nearly get a heart attack over it. It was unfair and it was time for Keith to get a taste of his own medicine. Lance walked into the training arena to find Keith wailing on some training robot. Keith punched and hit the robot with technical precision and Lance couldn’t look away. It was goddamn beautiful. 

The training dragged on for a long time and Lance started to think that it would never be over. But eventually, Keith stepped off to the side and powered off the training simulator. He was breathing hard, his arms and legs tense. Lance stepped out of the shadows and clapped. “Bravo, Keith! You really showed him what for.” 

“Oh... Hi, Lance,” said Keith, leaning down to pick up his water bottle. 

Lance resisted the urge to whistle at how fine Keith’s butt was. Being gross wasn’t about to get him anywhere. “You know, I bet you could bench press me with your muscles,” said Lance with a giant smirk.

Keith looked Lance up and down and said, “Probably. You’re what, one hundred and ten pounds?’ 

Lance couldn’t help but blush bright red in embarrassment and indignation. “Hey! I weigh way more than that! Muscles are heavy, you know!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna go take a shower,” said Keith. He started heading towards the door. Dammit, Lance was about to lose his chance. 

Lance leaned up against the wall as seductively as he could and said, “Why don’t you come use my shower?” 

Keith didn’t turn around. “Why would I do that?” 

Lance faltered. “Because... Because it’s a pretty nice shower.” 

“Maybe another time, Lance,” said Keith, although his tone of voice lacked any sort of excitement that might indicate that he was serious. With that, he was out and door and definitely not wooed. 

 

Well, Plan A had been a bust, but Lance was never one to give up so easily. Keith had probably not been in the mood to be flirted with after training. After all, he had been tired and sweaty. Lance wasn’t about to give up. He was certain that he could get Keith to fall into his arms like some blushing schoolgirl. 

Plan B was going to happen over dinner. Lance made sure that he parked his butt in the seat next to Keith. Specially, he slid into the seat as seductively as possible and leaned over. “Hey there, hot stuff. What’re you up to on this fine night?” 

Keith gave him an odd look and deadpanned, “Eating space goo.” 

“Anything else you’d rather be eating?” 

Keith paused for a second and seemed to contemplate the question. Lance was ready to slam his head through the table. “You know, I could really go for some strawberries right now. Or maybe some apples.”

It look Lance all of his will power not to slam his head through the table. “What if I said I could find something just as sweet?” 

“Lance, Pidge already tried to make the food goo taste like candy. It didn’t work.” 

Fuck Keith and his dumb pretty face. Why did Lance have to thirst for someone so oblivious? “I was thinking of something different than candy.”

“Soda? That could work. You should talk to Pidge or Hunk about it.” 

“Yeah... Soda. I meant soda,” deadpanned Lance. Keith gave him a small smile and turned to say something to Shiro. It nearly stopped Lance’s heart. Did Keith normally smile like that? Shit, Lance needed to get with that as soon as possible. Damn Keith and his ability to be the most oblivious fuck. Lance was going to die an early death one of these days. How could a body be so fine and not realize when he was being hit on? 

Slowly, Lance leaned across Keith to reach for more food goo. With Lance practically in his lap, Keith had no choice but to look at him. Lance dumped more food goo on his plate and went to go put it down, but before he could, he slipped his hand out from under the plate as naturally as possible and the food goo poured down the front of his shirt. “Oh no!” gasped Lance, feigning surprise. “I got goo all over me!” He stuck his finger in the goo on his shirt and brought it up to his mouth. As he licked his finger, he looked straight at Keith who was looking back at him with a confused expression. 

“Wow, Lance. Have you gotten so dumb that you’ve forgotten how to eat?” said Pidge through giggles. 

“Goddammit, Pidge, no one fucking asked you!” hissed Lance. He turned back to Keith and purred, “You know, I might need some help getting cleaned up.” 

“Did you forget how the clothes cleaning system works?” asked Keith, perplexed.

Well, that wasn’t the response that Lance had been looking for, but he could roll with it. “Maybe. Think you can show me how it works?” He slowly slid his hand along Keith’s arm. 

Keith looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “You doing okay? Did you hit your head?” 

Lance sighed. “No, I’m fine.” He stood up as dramatically as possible, and threw off his jacket and the food goo-stained shirt. He grinned and placed his hands on his hips, expecting some sort of reaction from Keith, but Keith was staring down at his food goo, clearly finding it more interesting than the fact that Lance was standing there half naked. 

Lance knew that he had failed. It was time to go lick his wounds for the time being. He picked up his clothes and retreated from the dinner table. 

 

For a couple of days, Lance didn’t get much of an opportunity to attempt Plan C. Part of it was that he was still recovering from his dinner embarrassment. Every time he would see Pidge in the halls, they would giggle at him. Lance didn’t need Pidge harassing him about his flirting game. He was doing just fine. Keith just needed some time to come around to it, but come around to it he would. 

But eventually, the castle landed on some new planet and the locals came out to greet them. As usual, Allura introduced herself and the Paladins. The planet was mostly made up of tall, thin, purple people and they instantly came to like their new visitors. Lance and everyone else was pushed onto a large tram as one of the city leaders insisted that she give them a tour of the capital city. On the tram, Lance planted himself next to Keith. Finally, he was going to get all up on that. Keith was going to be so wooed that the second they got back to the castle, he would be ripping his clothes off. 

“Hey, Keith,” said Lance, turning to give Keith his most seductive smile. He’d been practicing. 

“Oh, hi. Isn’t the view of the city from up here nice?” 

“The city’s pretty, but it’s not the prettiest thing I’m looking at.”

“Really? I mean this bus thing is pretty nice, but come on, Lance. Even you have to admit the city is amazing.”

Lance was starting to think that Keith was purposefully avoiding his advances. With anyone else, he would have assumed a long time ago that he was being fucked with. But Keith wasn’t just anyone. His obliviousness matched how damn good he looked. It was a crying shame, but even Keith had to have caught on at this point, right? “Hey, Keith, do you want to play a game?” asked Lance, determined to save his flirt game. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I call it Counting Shoulders.” Keith looked at Lance skeptically. “Just trust me, okay?” 

“My better judgment tells me I shouldn’t, but sure, fine.” 

Lance grinned. He tapped his shoulder farthest from Keith. “One.” He tapped his other shoulder. “Two.” He tapped Keith’s shoulder that was closest to him. “Three.” Then, he slid his arm across Keith’s shoulders and tapped Keith’s farthest shoulder. Lance moved in close and said, “Four.” 

“Um... there’s definitely a more efficient way of counting shoulders.”

Lance pulled his arm back like Keith was on fire. He was certain that he was staring at Keith like a gaping fish. How was Keith so unaware of what was going on? Lance was wondering if it was even worth it, but he never gave up. Until Keith flat out rejected him, he was going to keep trying. In fact, he was so determined to make things work that he just decided that, fuck it, he was going to throw it all on the metaphorical table. “Are you fucking with me?” 

“Huh?” Keith cocked his eyebrow at Lance. 

“Even you can’t be this fucking oblivious. Fuck, Pidge figured it out already.” 

“I’m really confused.” Keith was looking at him with the most conflicted and confused expression. Lance thought it was goddamn adorable, or he would if he wasn’t ridiculously frustrated. 

Lance wanted to slam his hand against his face. So he did. He slid his hand across his face, trying to compose himself. “Fucking hell, Keith! I’ve been flirting with you! Like, all the goddamn time! For the last week!” 

“Thanks for stating the obvious, buddy!” called Hunk from across the tram. 

Fuck. Lance had totally forgotten that everyone else from Team Voltron could hear their conversation. Not only that, but the weird purple alien guys they were trying to impress were there too. This was the worst time for this conversation, but Lance wasn’t about to quit. He’d already embarrassed himself. He might as well go for gold. “Put a sock in it, Hunk!” yelled Lance. 

“I mean, I got that much!” said Keith with a soft chuckle. “Really, I don’t know why you’re trying so hard, but I wasn’t about to stop you. You seemed to be having a good time.” 

“Oh, come on! You don’t get to blame this on me. I wouldn’t have tried so hard if you actually reciprocated or even just brushed me off. But no, you just gave me dumb answers that I didn’t know what to do with! Like, fuck, what does a guy need to do to get his feelings acknowledged around here?” 

“Um... aren’t we dating?” 

Lance nearly jumped back in shocked. “What? WHAT? When did that happen?”

Keith frowned. “Remember a few weeks ago when we visited the Verins?” 

What did that have to do with anything? “Yeah, sort of.” Nothing much had happened during that visit. As far as Lance could remember, it was a fairly standard planet visit. 

“Remember how they shared with us their space alcohol?” 

“Yeah, kind of.” If he was to be completely honest, his memory of that day was pretty spotty. 

“I ended up heading back to the castle first out of everyone. During the middle of the night, you came to my door and told me you were madly in love with me. I just figured that meant we were dating.” 

“Uh... I don’t remember that at all. How much had I had that night?” 

“I’m not actually-“ 

“You chugged that shit like it was water, man. I don’t know how you were standing!” called Hunk. 

“Thanks for the input, Hunk!” hissed Lance sarcastically. Shit. Shit. Shit. He remembered waking up the following morning in his own bed, but if he was completely honest with himself, he didn’t remember how he’d gotten there. Fuck, he didn’t even remember how he’d gotten back to the castle. 

“You don’t remember that night, do you?” asked Keith with a sigh. “I was wondering about that, but I sort of assumed the flirting meant you remembered.” Lance could tell that Keith was trying to hide his disappointment. He needed to fix this. 

“Well, I don’t remember confessing to you, but I’m sure that whatever I said is still true.” Lance knew that he was blushing, but he needed to finish this conversation. He vowed weeks ago that he was done running away from his feelings. 

Keith laughed. “I like you, too. And you’re a ridiculously high functioning black out drunk, you know that?” 

“Yeah. Runs in the family.” Lance couldn’t stop staring at Keith and his cute, stupid face. Keith was staring back at him, a light blush dusting his face. 

“Oh, just fucking kiss already!” screamed Pidge. 

Lance was finding it harder and harder to look Keith in the eye. Suddenly, Keith tapped his shoulder and said, “I’m game if you’re game.” 

Lance grinned. “Well, if they want a show, we might as well give it to them.” Lance moved to kiss Keith, but suddenly Keith jolted forward. Lance felt a soft pair of lips against his own. He felt Keith wrap his arms around his shoulders. Keith smelled like pine trees and sand. Slowly, Lance melted into the kiss, and kissed Keith back. Was this what the movies meant when they talked about fireworks? Because it felt pretty damn close. 

Just as the kiss had started, it was over. Keith pulled back and Lance already missed having him so close. Keith started to turn away from Lance, but Lance pulled Keith into a hug. He pressed his nose into Keith’s shoulder, taking in his warmth. Keith was tense at first, but then he slowly relaxed into the hug. Vaguely, Lance could hear the whistles and the cheering from their onlookers, but he couldn’t have cared less. 

Third time really was the charm.


End file.
